I was so lost that I could not even find myself, the darkness was unbearable but at the same time it also was my "friend", because it was the only time I actually felt anything even though it was always feelings of self doubt and self loathing. The numbness that comes with depression is incredibly scary. My parents attended The Alpha Course and it drastically changed their lives, so naturally they encouraged me to attend the next course. I did not really want to as I honestly believed that I was not worthy of God's great love and felt that He had abandoned me or forgotten about me. Little did I know of the journey that He had set in motion for me and all it took was for me to set foot in Kloof Harvest for it to start.
I literally had to go to the very darkest and deepest hole to realise that I could not go through life without God and that He had never left me, He was just waiting for me to ask Him for His help.
I feel like He shattered me into a million pieces so that He could remould me. It was not enough for Him that He had made me realise all this, He still then sent Hilton and Tarryn into my life to constantly remind me.
The "chains" that held me back are broken, my sins are forgiven and I live in His light and gracious love every day and He constantly reminds me every day of His love for me. Not only did The Alpha Course help me to find my way back to God but I found a new "family" within Kloof Harvest Church. I am reborn and I have never felt this kind of true happiness within myself before. It is so wonderful to be able to know and have a relationship with God who is so powerful and so gracious.
Alpha can change your life, it did mine!!!! Love
Amy